Marriage Podcast: A Six Year Long Distance Relationship #LDR

If you subscribe to iTunes then check out their channel here!

Jennie here! 

A few weeks ago, we were lucky enough to be featured and interviewed on a Brooklyn-based podcast called The Paper Year. Evan and Caitlin started this podcast in order to document their first year of marriage together and to chat with other married couples about their experiences. 

So, how did we get on this podcast?

I was a huge fan of their podcast since they started and really admired their ambition to start and run a podcast together! So, I reached out via email and told them a little bit about our (slightly Kafka-esque) long distance relationship and marriage. And a few months later they asked us to be on the podcast! I had to twist Ivan's arm to get him to agree to the podcast but, in the end, we both decided to put ourselves out there. 

It was our first time podcasting and we had a great time speaking with two strangers we had never met over the internet. Anyway, make sure to check out the podcast (linked above) and read a few of the highlights below.


Highlights and Quotes from the Podcast


It was a Kafka-esque immigration process...like [the short story] In the Penal colony where the guy is getting hole-punched by the machine...
— Ivan
 

Lessons Learned From Our Long Distance Relationship (of 6 Years)

  1. Not all love stories are romantic. Yeah, so our relationship started off because of a drunken kiss. Who hasn't experienced that? In the end, we ended up together and that's romantic and real.
     
  2. Manage expectations – with yourself and each other. In our case, we created a "social contract" to solidify our expectations and plans together. We talked about how often we'd see each other, how often we should evaluate our relationship, etc. This contract helped us communicate better and carried us through various milestones together. 
     
  3. Be realistic about your budget together. Can you really afford to see each other? We were two broke students who couldn't see each other often because it was expensive. Over the course of six years, we spent upwards of five figures on visiting each other.
     
  4. The immigration process is probably one of the toughest experiences you'll have as a couple. For Ivan and I, we had no choice but to immigrate and begin that process together – otherwise, it would've meant the end of our relationship. The 17 month process was long, hard, and emotionally draining. 
     
  5. Independence is crucial to the success of any relationship. Throughout our relationship, we prioritized taking care of ourselves first because we did not want to be defined by our relationship. We wanted to have our own projects, hobbies, and distinctive goals. Ultimately, prioritizing ourselves helped us become better partners.
 

He was so drunk...he was swimming on his bedsheets because it had dolphins on it...
— Jennie
We will chase down a goal until it’s dead.
— Ivan