4 Working Women And Their Thoughts On Children

 

Last month in Denver, Ivan and I had the privilege of reconnecting with two of our closest friends we’d first met during our study abroad in Japan over eight years ago. Now they’re married to each other and live in New Zealand, with three beautiful sons (a set of 1 y/o twins and a 4 y/o).

Since then, the child question has been occupying my thoughts.

I’m turning 29 years old this year and my answer to children is still: “not now”. Oftentimes, many women have given me the well-intentioned “You should have kids. It’s the best thing you’ll ever experience.” However, I thought it was interesting to share the unadulterated feelings of current mothers who are working and raising their kids at the same time.  

I met most of these career-minded women on my recent trip to Las Vegas for a tech conference.

Woman working

These are their thoughts:


 

1.

Just know that if you have children, it’s like being in prison for at least 20 years...and sometimes I think to myself, I should have raised my kids differently.
— A stay-at-home mom in her 50s, with two children in their early 20’s.

 

2.

I didn’t know that my kids could be such assholes. They just continue to ask and ask for more money. And of course, you want to give them everything in the world, but did they have to end up being such little shits?
— A recruiter at a tech company in her late 40s, with two boys in their mid to late teens. We were at a party and she was a little tipsy.

 

3.

While I’ve been traveling, I think that my missing him (her baby) has seeped into my subconscious. I had a dream the other night where I was chasing my nanny (who was holding my son) through the crowded streets of Hong Kong. I kept running and running until I finally caught him. In the dream, I sobbed so hard as I held onto him….I’ve never thought I could love anyone so deeply as much as I love my son.
— A communications director in her mid-thirties with a one year old son. This was the first time I had heard such an honest and sad account of guilt that working mothers feel.
I don’t regret having my child at age 38. I was lucky because most of my friends tried for several years with no results; some of them even had to go through the painful experience of IVF multiple times... Because I had my son so late, I got to accomplish all the things that I wanted and I continue to move forward because I’m more than just a mom.
— A former CTO and current founder of a new consultancy in her mid-40’s with a 7 year old. This woman’s path was the one I gravitated the most towards. That said, I might not be so lucky to be able to have a kid at 38.  

 

4.


So where does this lead me?