Posts tagged Fuck Off Fund
5 Reasons We Want to Travel (and Live) Abroad

How dull it is to pause, to make an end,
To rust unburnish’d, not to shine in use!
— Ulysses, by Alfred, Lord Tennyson,

Ivan here.

The only fate worse than death is spending a lifetime waiting on the sidelines. Ironically, that’s the exact situation I found myself in a year ago, as I tried to navigate the Kafkaesque bureaucracy of (legally) immigrating to the United States.  

Before that dark place consumed our lives, everything was going according to plan. Jennie and I were lucky. We both landed decent paying jobs straight out of college, her in Boston and me in Toronto. While we weren’t thrilled about working for corporations, we made the best of our situations by building one of the most unassailable f*ck off funds imaginable

We were also working towards a very specific goal: to sign the marriage paperwork within a year, and start the US immigration process in the second

That’s when US Citizenship and Immigration Services happened, and a process that should’ve taken 10-12 months ended up taking 17 because of lost paperwork, a government shutdown, and garden variety incompetence. 

A shot from Terry Gilliam's 1985 film BRAZIL, a dark comedy about living in a dystopian, bureaucratic society.          

It was around this time that we first started talking about a round the world trip. Initially, we were just joking around, imagining a life where we’d leave everything behind for a nomadic lifestyle. But after the immigration debacle, we turned dead serious. After six years apart and 17 months squirming in bureaucratic limbo, we had lost our sense of humor. We dreamed about a life without restrictions. The ability to come and go as we pleased. 

In short, we were tired of waiting. 

As two ruthlessly practical, Type A personalities, we immediately started planning and setting goals. We would save $40,000. That was going to be our cushion. In the meantime, we’d also try to generate $2500 a month in remote income to make a sustainable living abroad. 

We promised ourselves that we would be gone before September 2018. That’s one of the main reasons we started this blog. To keep ourselves accountable. 

There will be no Eat, Pray, Love up in this bitch.

We’re not traveling to find ourselves. There will be no Eat, Pray, Love up in this bitch. On the contrary, we understand ourselves too well to be restricted by mortgages, kids, and to be tied down by a mountain of things we could live without. More than anything, we just want to be ourselves completely, and to accept no compromises for what we want. 

So when friends ask us why we want to travel, here are the five reasons we give:


1. Because discomfort is the best education

2. Because standing still is moving backward

3. Because we enjoy the challenges of new places, people, and things

4. Because life’s too short, time moves too swiftly to allow ourselves to be governed by the wishes of others

5. Because years from now, we don’t want to look back On a life not lived


Do you ever wonder what your life would be like if you took a slightly different road? Don't waste time wondering.

Start today.  

The Life-Changing Magic of a Fuck Off Fund

Ivan here. If you’ve been to a bookstore recently, chances are you’ve stumbled upon Marie Kondo’s international bestseller The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up

Do you enjoy flushing your toilet and thanking it for a job well done? When you brush your teeth in the morning, do you look at your toothbrush and ask yourself, “does this spark joy?” If so, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up is the book for you.

But you know what’s even more magical than tidying up? What will literally change your life and open your eyes to all that this world has to offer you? 

Having a Fuck Off Fund.

So lay off those bath salts, stop talking to inanimate objects, and embark on a magical journey towards financial freedom. 

Something tells me we’re not in Kansas anymore.
— Dorothy, Wizard of Oz

What is a Fuck Off Fund?

The Fuck Off Fund is hardly a new term and is pretty self-explanatory. It’s a sum of money you keep in your savings account in case you need to tell someone to fuck off. This could be anyone (or anything) from an abusive boss, a bad relationship, or a dead end job.  

Basically, the Fuck Off Fund serves as your first line of defense. It’s the antidote to late-stage capitalism. The match you use to set fire to Lady Fortune’s stupid wheel. More importantly, it's an invitation to an exclusive club called Freedom. 


The Fuck Off Membership Tiers

 
 

Did you know there are actually multiple levels of financial freedom? Here’s the rough breakdown:

1. The Basic Fund

At least 6 months worth of living expenses. This provides insurance for life’s small to medium sized emergencies. Everyone should have a basic fuck off fund. 

2. The Premium Fund

Debt free + 6-8 months worth of living expenses. Insurance for even the most catastrophic emergencies. 

3. The Domestic Fund

8-12 months of living expenses + enough to cover the moving costs to live and work anywhere in the country. For more info on this, check out our 20-Something's Guide to Starting Over.  

4. The International Fund

A full year’s living expenses + enough to travel and live abroad doing work you’re passionate about, from any country where you can legally get a visa. 

5. The Fuck Off Lifetime Status Club

Enough savings in the bank to cover one year's living expenses from interest and dividends alone, doing whatever you like, and answering to nobody except the law and your own mortality 

For example, if you’re comfortable spending $30,000 a year, divide that by a conservative 5% annual return and you get a fund of $600,000. If you don’t mind living in a smaller city, town or in the countryside, you could achieve lifetime fuck off status on much much less. 


5 Steps to Building Your Own Fuck Off Fund


1. Figure out your minimum expectations

Make a list of everything you need each month in order to (a) survive and (b) be reasonably satisfied with your life. The fewer Rolexes and mansions you have on this list, the cheaper you can buy your freedom. 

2. Track your actual spending for 3-4 months

Be honest with yourself and figure out where you stand today. How far are you from your goals?

3. Make a realistic budget 

A budget is like a marriage between reality and your aspirations. A reasonable budget means you don’t end up eating ramen by the end of every month. And don't try and compare yourself to others. Do whatever works for you (so long as you're doing it better than the person you were yesterday). 

4. Set up a separate savings account

This savings account should be out of sight and out of mind. Don't open it with the same bank where you keep your checking. 

5. Set up automatic transfers

Set it up so that a certain percentage of every pay-check goes into your savings first. If you don't have a Basic Fuck Off Fund yet, you should be holding off on non-essential purchases until you've achieved that minimum. Having the patience to buy your freedom first is worth infinitely more than the new (insert name of status seeking object here) you don't really need.  

And remember, over time, you need to make sure the balance of your Fuck Off Fund keeps up with your increased monthly spend.